More Details on My Upcoming Novel – Criticism Welcome

Planning a novel is hard. The more I work on planning my novel, the more I realize how complex and meaningful a complete work of fiction is. It’s intimidating. But I will finish this project. The consequences for my self-esteem of not finishing are too great.

Here are some of the building blocks of my novel. Any criticism would be greatly appreciated.


In a future where illegal immigrants are an isolated underclass, Landon Cruz invents a legal persona to get his dream job at the Department of Homeland Security. When an obscure Senator discovers his secret, Landon must either abandon his normal life or sacrifice his integrity to the Senator’s biddings. After escaping to the sanctuary state of North Dakota, Landon fights to build an honest life while defending himself from the now Vice-President’s agents. As the antagonist ascends to the presidency and ignites a civil war, Landon faces certain death as he must use his knowledge of the new President’s secrets to end the war on his new illegal friends.


An illegal immigrant masquerading as a Homeland Security agent in a bleak future must choose between the normal life he has worked for and the safety of the family that sacrificed to get him there.


The criminalization of victim-less crimes makes everyone a suspect.


(Thank you James Scott Bell for the LOCK technique)

Lead: Landon Cruz is a DHS-ICE agent and upstanding legal immigrant who is really an illegal.

Objective: Avoid detection. Escape to North Dakota, start a new life and defend it. Expose/defeat the antagonist.

Conflict: Senator Benjamin Soto discovers LC’s identity, blackmails him, sends assassins after him in North Dakota and forces civil war over the illegal immigrant issue.

Knockout: Landon exposes now President Soto as an illegal on national TV, thereby ending the civil war and reuniting the nation.

Conflict is Weak

I think the conflict is still very weak. I need to find a way to link my two main characters in inescapable conflict.

Still a Lot of Work to do

I still have an enormous amount of work to do. I plan to use these items to guide my work as it becomes more complicated.

By George Donnelly

I'm building a tribe of radical libertarians to voluntarize the world by 2064. Join me.

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